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Some Tour of Duty Humor

.... by The TOD Fans

The following are replies from fans to a question posed on our Fans Message Board

"You Know It's Time to Stop Watching Tour of Duty When....."

...you can recite most of the script

...you regularly say things like "I'd rather sandpaper a bobcat's butt in a phone booth" and "see you in hell" instead of "no thanks" and "goodbye"

...you recite the script of TOD at parties, and people wonder what the hell you're talking about

...you want to join the army because you believe all the soldiers will look as good as the guys in TOD

...you start every unpleasant task by saying " Aw hell !"

...you are surprised when you hear that it's the year 2001 - after watching TOD so much, you still think it's 1969, and wonder how you managed to travel forward in time

...you feel like they are a part of your family because you see them so much!?!

...they're the only family you have that "Cares"

...you ask where everyone "didi'd" to and get some strange looks

... you use expressions from Nam like "It don't mean nothin'

...you get into a hairy situation & wonder, "How would Sarge handle this?"

...you refer to meals as 'chow' & your room as your 'hootch.'

...you can see the power poles in "War Is A Contract Sport"

... you say "I've really got to get some new fatigues" when your clothes are dirty

...you call your mother & tell her what Danny did today & she thinks it's your new boyfriend.

...you hear a helicopter & think they're coming to medevac you out...after all, paper cuts are injuries, too!

....when you're suffering flashbacks from a war that you were not a part of!

...you actually look closely to see if the actors are wearing boxers or briefs under their fatigue pants. (I personally wouldn't do that...but someone might.)

"I wore boxers...Calvin Kleins. But after a romp in the mud, they felt more like "Melvin" Kleins"
-- Steven Akahoshi 3-23-01 (replying to this post)

....when you take the kids out and call it R&R

...when you get there you make the kids go in single file , silently , looking for traps

...you tell the wife she is on "point"

...all your internet explorer favourites all start Tour of Duty page

...When you start putting on olive drab army bdu's, rucksack, rifle and helmet and walking down the street as if your on search and destroy in the A Shau Valley.

...you say you're going to run down to the PX for milk, bread & toilet paper.

...you have your ToD tapes organized by episode & original airdate & have them cross-referenced in a notebook with the synopses.

...you have every intention of attending a convention for the show & already have a 'costume' to wear.

...You know that you are hooked when you spend your weekend watching the reruns over from the week before.

...When you put your favorite picture from the show on your desk at work.

...You will not take any calls during the show, even if it is taping.

...you take the kids to the park and scan the treeline for vc

...everytime you walk past your dad you stop and salute him

...when you get to a bridge you get out of your car and walk through the water

...somebody drops something at work and you hit the floor then when you get up you say "you just gave charlie our coordinates" and call your co- worker a cherry

... you dream about the show!

... you kick your friend off the computer to check the TOD message board instead of your e-mail.

....your friend knows what bookmark to click for TOD Message Board

.....you look at your bookmarks in your internet browswer and all you see is TOD Bookmarks to every page there is about it!

...when our 4 1/2 yr old son says, as we're getting ready to leave, either "Get a move on!" or "Come on, move it out!" Not to mention when he's done something wrong, I've taken to saying "PFC Alex, front and center!"

...you find yourself wonder what theyre doing now.not the actors but the characters....like I wonder what Danny's doing? or did Roo and Taylor start a restaurant....then you have to remind yourself they arent real !

...when you see one of them on the street, any single one of them, and 10 years after the fact, call to them by their TOD name!!!

... You go into a music store and ask them if they have the "Tour of Duty" theme song on CD and they look at you like you're from mars!

... You thought the Stones 'stole" Paint it Black from TOD

...you're on the eighth run through the series, and still not tired of it.

...you quote a character from the show during a serious conversation.

...you find yourself psychoanalyzing the characters.

...you look up the names of the characters in a book of name origins. (Did you guys know the name 'Percell' means 'Young Pig'? )

...you host a celebration party when one of the characters gets promoted.

...you use a picture of one or more of the characters for your desktop wallpaper.

...you have to check the TOD Fans message board before you go to bed, or you can't sleep. (What if one of the actors wrote a message?!)
...you are offended by what this page is implying.

....you get home an hour and a half before the rest of your family to get dibs on the remote control.

...you schedule school classes so the times don't conflict with the show

...you write to Andrea and Debbye more than you do your best friends

...You play the Tour of Duty Theme song on the way to work.

...You look at the clouds and see Purcell's face in them

...You say "son" at the end of your sentences for example.. " we have to watch some more tour of duty, son." (i said that one to my dad and got the weirdest look)

...You cheer everytime one of the guys kill a vc.

...You know you've been watching too much TOD when your husband tells you in the morning you talk in your sleep and who the hell is Zeke?? (It's ok, I just let him wonder :D )

...When you leave social events to watch tod for second time in the day

...When your friends are getting ready to go out and you say "saddle up. get your gear were moving out."

...When your friends are in different cars going to a club you refer to them by 1st , 2nd and 3rd squad. when you leave somwhere you say your aborting mission.

...When you hide from someone your "escaping and evading"

...When you go paintball shooting your reliving a tod episode and tell your team mates to "pick your targets... make them count"

...When someone throws something at you , you scream "incoming"

...Whenyou call your friends a "third class peasant army"

...When you use military time and your code name is viking 6 or bravo 6

...When walking in a park or forest you think your on the HoChiMin trail looking for booby traps.

...When you open a can of tuna you feel like your eating c-rats.

...When you constantly try to convince people to watch tod.

...When checking your laundry for items in the pockets you think your searching charlie for any intelligence.

...When your friends who don't watch tour of duty start picking up lines from you

...When you use a home made sun dial to determine time and direction

...When the paper shredder in your office sounds like incoming choppers

...Whenyou call your Gradmother mama san. ...When you call your friends to see where they are you ask them whats their position

...When someone gets hurt you scream "MEDIC" at the top of your lungs

...When you use military language such as north east = November Echo and south west = sierra whiskey


..... you've written several sequels. I included Bruce Boxleitner as well. I thought he'd make a good pilot and be excellent competition in a love triangle.

...... when your 7 year old goes to a school disco and wonders why they are not playing Diana Ross, Canned Heat or Janis Joplin.

...when your mom seriously thinks you have friends named Zeke, Danny, Taylor....



This from a "TOD Husband".....
"You know your WIFE is watching too much TOD when....
...She insists on buying a satellite dish to get ToD, even though she has them all taped.
...The first night with our dish, instead of checking out whats on the 300+ channels, she goes straight for ToD. "But we've seen them all already," doesn't work.

Please E-Mail us (Debbye &I Andrea) if you have any you'd like to add


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